How to Convince Your Aging Parents to Use Home Security Devices (2024)

Smart home security pairs perfectly with people aging in place, moving to granny pods, settling down in smaller homes and other silver-haired life plans. But there's a common problem: A lot of our elderly relatives aren't interested in home security tech. They may have concerns with privacy, how much things will cost or what newfangled apps and systems they'll have to learn.

That obstinance, while understandable, can create headaches for kids who want to keep their parents safer and have easy ways to drop in for a quick check. Smart home devices can help them contact emergency services if they fall, assuage fears of burglars, recognize fire alarms, let people access doors remotely and plenty more.

First, visit our guide on talking to parents about smart home tech in general. Then let's make the home security talk even easier with tips on approaching these sometimes-sensitive topics.

Home security can be very affordable

Cost doesn't have to be a concern with the right devices, even if your parents are in penny-saving mode. Our recommendations for cheap home security cams have options under $30, and that includes key features like motion detection, two-way audio, pan/tilt features and more.

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Also, don't let your parents worry too much about subscription fees. Major brands like Tapo from TP-Link, Eufy and Nest offer free local storage or free cloud video without any extra fees. And if a camera subscription does add necessary features like smart alerts or storage, prices tend to start at $3 to $5 per month, not the $50 prices that brands like ADT or Frontpoint advertise. Even with professional home monitoring, you can find services well below $30.

Nobody will be spying out of your cams or speakers

If your parents got scared by internet headlines talking about how employees spied through security cams or a stalker used a security camera to threaten people, you can set them at ease.

First, after embarrassing incidents like these home security companies have spent a lot of work updating their encryption and policies so that kind of security breach can't happen. And if we don't think a brand's security is up to par or if they've had concerning vulnerabilities recently, we pull our recommendations for that brand until things have turned around.

Best Outdoor Home Security Cameras for 2024 See at Cnet

Second, home security hacking is something of an urban myth. It can happen with a lot of work, expensive tech and poor password management, but no burglar is doing that, and once again security companies work to prevent it. Even simpler fears like using Wi-Fi jammers to cut home security is more about sensational headlines than any immediate concern.

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You can contact friends and family at a moment's notice

One thing aging relatives commonly struggle with is a feeling of loneliness and disconnection. It's helpful to emphasize that smart home technology and home security can help them maintain friendship and minimize loneliness. That can be something as simple as a drop-in from an Echo device from a friend who has the Alexa app or the ability to call up a child with a simple voice command and hold a quick conversation, no phones needed.

On the security front, smart locks allow users to set special guest passes or share codes so that close friends can stop by any time they want. Smart displays that can show outdoor cam views of nearby wildlife can just as easily switch to a video call with a grandchild.

All these features offer many restrictions so that only specific people are granted the ability to make contact, increasing privacy while staying in touch with loved ones.

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Home security devices are surprisingly easy to learn

The learning curve is a big issue for elderly relatives who may not be used to a lot of smart technology. That's even more true with home security devices like smart locks or doorbells, which come with a lot of settings to understand and adjust to get the best results.

When possible, we prefer encouraging people to learn the apps themselves when setting up a device so they don't have to rely on anyone else for them. My parents, for example, had little trouble learning how to set up a Ring Stick Up Cam Pro, one of the most feature-filled cams currently available. They had to adjust their Wi-Fi and spend some time finding settings they liked, but it wasn't challenging.

And even if your relatives aren't quite as patient and tech-inclined, apps include careful walk-through instructions to set up the most important features step by step, and settings menus have become clearer -- the latest Blink cam, for example, has a very intuitive, speedy app.

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The other advantage is that once settings are finished, they can automate most of the work. Users can set motion detection to only detect what they want to know about and avoid certain areas or things (like vehicles). Motion activation settings also let you choose what alerts you want to get, what they should say and what the camera should do (such as turn on a spotlight, etc.).

Even video management is easy once you choose an app storage option, particularly when combined with a tablet that's often friendlier for elderly fingers.

Best Wireless Home Security Cameras of 2024 See at Cnet

Home security helps with forgotten details

Home security excels at fixing memory flubs around the house. Forgot to close or lock your front door after a walk? Your smart lock will let you know it's open, or even lock it for you. Forget to close the garage door? Smart garage door openers will handle it for you. Leave a fence gate open? Your cam will let you know if anyone wanders inside. A listening cam or smart speaker can even provide alerts if they hear alarms go off in another room or glass shattering. These are excellent solutions for people who are worried about being forgetful at home (or who deal with poor hearing).

You don't have to answer the door to strangers anymore

Do your older kin complain about answering the door to strangers or seeing suspicious strangers in the neighborhood? It's not uncommon. One noteworthy advantage of video doorbells is that owners can get all the updates they want about what's happening at the front door without getting up from their chair. They can also activate two-way audio or compose quick replies rather than answer the door to a stranger.

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And thanks to the object recognition that most doorbells offer, elderly relative will know when packages appear, when it's a human walking down the street with a dog and when that weird noise was…just a weird noise. Pay a little extra and doorbells can even offer familiar face recognition for family and friends.

Home security is ideal for many kinds of emergencies

Along with alerts, home security devices provide options to immediately call fire departments, police or other responders (look for 24/7 assistance plans). That can be particularly comforting to the older folk who may be worried about a fall, medical event or a sudden fire. It's even better when combined with a compatible emergency panic button to carry around, which so many smart home security systems support.

Best Home Security Cameras With Lights for 2024 See at Cnet

And, finally: 'I can take care of the details if you need me to'

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It's not our first choice, but you can always promise to set up and arrange home security management yourself. There are advantages to this approach: You receive customized alerts on your own phone so you always know what's going on, and you can make sure that devices are always plugged in, updated and connected to Wi-Fi properly. In return, elderly parents receive many other benefits of home security, and can use codes, arm/disarm hubs or digital passes as they wish.

Remember, home security adoption is a work in progress for elderly relatives. Plan on spending several sessions convincing them, helping them set up new devices and encouraging them to use them. Accept that some devices things just don't click with certain older users -- horses to water, etc.

Finally, helping your parents adopt home security technology works best when you fully understand your options. Stop by our recommendations for the best home security systems, as well as the top DIY systems, and review tips to deter burglars plus the spots to never put a security camera once your parents finally agree.

How to Convince Your Aging Parents to Use Home Security Devices (2024)

FAQs

How do you deal with an aging parent who refuses help? ›

Aging Parents Refusing Help: How to Respond
  1. Evaluate Your Parent's Situation. Before anything, take a look at your parent's living conditions, activities, and mental health. ...
  2. Focus On The Positives. ...
  3. Make It About You. ...
  4. Enlist Experts (If You Have To) ...
  5. Give Options. ...
  6. Start Small.
Nov 8, 2019

How to deal with negative elderly parents? ›

Tips for dealing with negative elderly parents
  1. Consider if it's a new problem. ...
  2. Separate yourself from blame. ...
  3. Acknowledge your parent's thoughts. ...
  4. Combat boredom. ...
  5. Focus on fun when you are together. ...
  6. Set limits. ...
  7. Be open with them. ...
  8. Get help and support.

How to deal with an elderly parent who is demanding? ›

18 General Tips for Dealing With Stubborn, Aging Parents
  1. Be persistent. ...
  2. Avoid power struggles — pick your battles. ...
  3. Be sensitive. ...
  4. Know that timing is everything. ...
  5. Stay calm. ...
  6. Seek outside help — for yourself. ...
  7. Spend more time with them. ...
  8. Ask questions.

How can I stop being frustrated with my elderly parents? ›

It's natural to feel resentful, frustrated, or upset with a parent for their hurtful behavior. If you feel the same, talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Confide in a close friend or family member, sibling, or therapist. You could also speak to a senior living counselor or healthcare provider.

How do you know when an elderly person is giving up on life? ›

Some of the earliest signs have to do with a sense of resignation. That may involve low mood, lack of motivation, and withdrawal. The person may spend more time reminiscing about their childhood and earlier life experiences. Loss of appetite, general weakness, and increasing fatigue become noticeable.

What not to say to elderly parents? ›

What NOT to Say to Your Aging Parents
  • “This isn't hard—why are you struggling to do this?” ...
  • “You've already told me that.” or “We've already been through this.” ...
  • “How can you not remember your own family member's name?” ...
  • “What does this have to do with anything?” ...
  • “I want your money/heirloom/house when you die.”

What age is considered elderly? ›

Traditionally, the “elderly” are considered to be those persons age 65 and older.

How do you deal with stubborn Ageing parents? ›

Tips For Aging Parents That Won't Listen – What To Do
  1. Accept the situation. ...
  2. Blame It on the Kids (That Would Be You) or the Grandkids. ...
  3. Decide how Important the Matter Is. ...
  4. Don't Beat Yourself Up. ...
  5. Find an Outside Outlet for Your Feelings. ...
  6. Think Ahead. ...
  7. Treat Them Like the Adults They Are.

What to do with toxic elderly parents? ›

Work out a solution with another family member or a professional caregiver, or consider placement in a long-term care facility. If your situation is truly intolerable and you are reaching your limits, social services or a geriatric care manager can step in to ensure your loved one's safety (and your own).

What to do with elderly parents with no money? ›

5 Ways to Financially Support Elderly Parents
  1. Provide them with financing. ...
  2. Hire an outside planner to manage care and finances. ...
  3. Look for government savings. ...
  4. Set your parents up with a private reverse mortgage. ...
  5. Invite your parents to stay in an “in-law” apartment on your property.
Sep 4, 2023

Am I responsible for my elderly mother? ›

In the United States, each state has its laws requiring children to take care of their elderly parents. In 30 states, an adult is liable for their old parents' care after they are unable to care for themselves. However, the statute establishing this filial obligation has never been implemented in 11 of these states.

Why is my elderly mother so angry with me? ›

The aging process is not easy. It can spark resentment in seniors who are living with chronic pain, losing friends, experiencing memory issues, and all the other undignified things that come with getting older. Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia can also cause these behaviors.

How to tell an elderly parent they need help? ›

How to Convince an Elderly Parent They Need Help
  1. Stay positive and empathetic. ...
  2. Let them have control and autonomy. ...
  3. Provide options. ...
  4. Collaborate with others. ...
  5. Choose your battles. ...
  6. Start small. ...
  7. Reframe conversations around you and other loved ones. ...
  8. Accept your own limits.
Jan 24, 2023

Why does my elderly mother cry so much? ›

Physical causes: Pain, restlessness, hunger, a need to use the bathroom, etc. External causes: An environment that is too busy, loud noises, a change in routine, etc. Psychological causes: Loneliness, boredom, anxiety, depression, and delusions1.

How do you deal with defiant elderly parents? ›

Tips For Aging Parents That Won't Listen – What To Do
  1. Accept the situation. ...
  2. Blame It on the Kids (That Would Be You) or the Grandkids. ...
  3. Decide how Important the Matter Is. ...
  4. Don't Beat Yourself Up. ...
  5. Find an Outside Outlet for Your Feelings. ...
  6. Think Ahead. ...
  7. Treat Them Like the Adults They Are.

Are we obligated to care for elderly parents? ›

Yes, you can refuse to care for elderly parents. However, filial responsibility laws obligate children to provide their parents with clothing, food, housing, and medical attention.

Who is responsible for taking care of an elderly person who cannot care for themselves? ›

Caregivers, family members, healthcare providers, and APS all have a duty of care to ensure the safety and well-being of vulnerable older adults, and they may be held responsible if they fail to fulfil that duty.

When a parent with dementia refuses help? ›

Denial may reflect that the person is feeling fearful and needs time to accept what is happening.
  • Broach the topic gently. ...
  • Be kind and supportive during the conversation. ...
  • Let them know that you're worried about them. ...
  • Break down the larger issue into smaller ones. ...
  • Keep a diary of events.

References

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